PROCEDURE FOR MAKING ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTS WORK
1. Approach the ailing instrument in a confident manner. This will give the instrument the (often mistaken) idea that you know something. This will also impress anyone who happens to be looking, and if the instrument should suddenly start working, you will be credited with the repair. If this fails to work, proceed to step two.
2. Wave the handbook at the instrument. This will make the instrument assume that you are at least familiar with the sources of knowledge. Should this step fail to work, proceed to step three.
3. In a forcible manner recite Ohm's Law to the instrument (before taking this step, refer to some reliable handbook and assure your knowledge of Ohm's Law). This will prove to the instrument, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you do know something. This is a drastic step and should be attempted only after the first two are tried.
4. Jar the instrument slightly. This may require from a three foot to a six foot drop, preferably on a concrete floor. However, we must be very careful with this step because, while jarring is an approved method of repairing an instrument, we must not mar the floor. Again, this is a drastic step and should it fail to work we are forced to proceed to step five.
5. Add a tube. This will prove to the instrument that you are familiar with instrument design. Also, this step will give the instrument an added load to carry and will thereby increase your advantage. Should these five steps fail, we must proceed to the most drastic step of all. This step is seldom needed and must be used only as a final resort.
6. T H I N K ! ! !
From Candace Ellen Hunter Plato (photo & written around 1954)
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Text & Picture © Candace Ellen Hunter Plato